Let's Over-Analyze Skirts!

Happy Easter!  Flowers are blooming all over Portland after a gray winter, and Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and our new life in Him! 

But here on my sewing blog, let's talk about skirts.  Last Easter, a friend said something scathing about Easter services at church, about women wearing skirts that don't hang right, with their slips slipping out the bottom.  I then went to church and saw exactly that!  See, most modern women grew up in jeans, and don't wear skirts often enough to know how to manage them.  This ignorance shows at weddings, when bridesmaids sit with their legs open, or at Easter services where nylon slips fall below the hem of the skirt, or in historical dramas when the actress fights with her costume.  (Keira Knightly, though otherwise a wonderful actress, is guilty of this.  She never alters her body mechanics to suit the costume; she's always stalking about, long-legged, whipping her skirts around her legs ungracefully.)

Weather Report image from the Tacoma Times, 3 May 1904. Public Domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Today's post will be about how a skirt works, what undergarments are ideal, how to keep a slip from slipping, how to wear a skirt, et cetera. 

SKIRT BASICS

A skirt is a basic garment: fabric wraps around the waist or hips and is fastened there, but hangs free underneath.  A dress hangs from the shoulders or bosom, but it has a skirt, too, and so when I talk about skirts here I'll include the ones with attached bodices.  Some skirts are fitted (pencil skirt, wiggle skirt), some fit at the hips and flare below (trumpet skirt, gored skirt, circle skirt), some are pleated or gathered at the waist (dirndl skirt), and so on.  The one thing they all have in common, is that nothing goes between the legs. 

SKIRT PROBLEMS & SOLUTIONS

For such a simple concept, you'd think a skirt would be simple to wear, but that's not always the case.  Here are some common problems and their solutions. 

SKIRT TANGLES IN LEGS
As you walk, the skirt gets sucked between your legs and tangles there.  This is most common with long skirts, especially if there's a lot of fullness at the hem but the fabric is thin.  I once had a 25 yard skirt for belly dance that was difficult to walk in because there was so much circumference at the hem that it had nowhere to go but between my ankles as I walked!  Several little tricks can ease this problem.  

• Try walking with one foot in front of the other, like a cat, instead of feet side by side, like most humans (even women).  This "runway style" foot placement makes your hips sway a little and leaves little room between the thighs for a skirt to get caught.  Shorter steps or slower motion help, too, since they allow the skirt space and time to swing in front of your legs instead of between them.  Experiment. 
• Try wearing an underskirt with a smaller hem circumference than the overskirt.  The gathers and folds of the bigger skirt will lie on top of the smaller skirt, and you'll walk easier.  (In fact, many crinolines are already made just like this, with a smaller circumference to the acetate lining and a huge circumference to the gathered tulle or net on the outside.) 
• Wear an underskirt with some structure at the bottom, like pin-tucks or regular tucks.  If the tucks run parallel to the hem and the floor, they make the hem stand out away from the body and not fold as easily.  A hoop skirt is the same principle taken to the extreme. 

Many people talk about "all the layers" that Victorian women wore as if it were some kind of burden to wear a chemise and a few petticoats.  In reality, these layers  were perfectly practical and comfortable; you wouldn't want to wear a big Victorian skirt without the underlayers! 

SKIRT RIDES UP IN FRONT
As you walk, friction with your legs makes your skirt cling and ride up in front.  Worse yet, it might ball up in your crotch before falling back into place!  Yikes!  So awkward.  This will happen even more if you're wearing nylon stockings, since nylons provide more friction than bare legs. 

• Wear a slip.  A simple nylon half-slip is a dignity saver: with each step, the slip slips off your legs instead of clinging, and the skirt hangs with the slip. 
• Some skirts have linings sewn in which do this job for you... you'll notice right away that lined skirts hang better than unlined ones.  However, if the lining is cheap and synthetic, or if the whole skirt is cheap and synthetic, you might get the next problem...

SKIRT FULL OF STATIC!
Static is a build-up of electrical charge in the fabric, and is more common in very dry fabrics, which is why your clothes may zap you right out of the dryer. The solutions revolve, therefore, around adding moisture to the fibers or channeling electricity out. 

• Spritz the outside of your skirt with water wherever it clings.  You don't need to soak yourself, just a light mist. 
• Grab a can of hairspray or anti-cling spray and spritz up your skirt!  Hairspray may discolor some fabrics, so that's why you spray the underside, not the outside.
• Rub a dryer sheet on the inside of your skirt to add a layer of fabric conditioner to the dry fibers.
• Moisturize your legs if they are bare.
• Try a different slip... nylon slips might be better than acetate ones, for instance.  Natural fibers retain moisture better and don't get as staticky, so try a silk slip. 
• Stop putting that skirt in the dryer and just let it hang-dry in future.
• If all your clothes get like this in the winter, your house is too dry.  Use an air humidifier. 
• Touch grounded metal, like a fence post or swingset, to transfer the charge into the ground.  Non-grounded metal, like a doorknob, won't work; you'll just zap yourself. 

SKIRT HANGS UNEVENLY
Most skirts are designed so their hems are parallel to the ground.  If your skirt is supposed to hang even but doesn't, it's usually because of your body, and your skirt might need alterations.  The most common form of this problem is when the skirt is shorter in the back than in the front, because you have a big booty!  A larger bum requires that the skirt be cut longer in the back, since it has more ground to cover before it reaches the same level as the front skirt.  Conversely, a big belly, especially a pregnant belly, will require a skirt cut longer in the front.

• The best solution is alteration.  Let's say you have a big booty... Depending on how the skirt is made, a seamstress may tug the front up until the length matches the back, or let the back hem down to match the front.  If this is always your problem, you may wish to buy skirts longer than you desire and have them hemmed evenly to the length you want. 
• On the fly, pull the front up yourself and secure with safety pins inside your skirt. 
• If you can't alter it, just be aware of it and make sure you wear tights and decent undergarments if the skirt is short! 

YOUR SLIP IS SLIPPING!
Your slip may be longer than the skirt and therefore hanging below the skirt at the hem.  Or it may be an old half-slip losing its elastic at the waist, and it's falling down your hips.  Or it may be too big for you!  Whatever the reason, this functional but private garment is playing peekaboo, with the result that instead of looking put-together, you look like a kid playing dress-up in Mom's clothes! 

• Pin the slip to the skirt thus: Turn the skirt inside out and put the slip over it.  Adjust the hems until the slip hem is shorter than the skirt hem.  Smooth the fabric up to the waist and turn the excess down in a fold.  Then pin the cardinal points (Center Front, the two sides, and Center back) at the waistline.  Be careful not to accidentally pin the zipper closed!  Also, don't pin the slip at the bottom; it works better if the slip and the skirt both hang free.  Besides, it's easier to conceal a safety pin in the extra layers at the waist than the single layer at the bottom.  Turn the skirt right side out with the slip inside, and wear it. 
• OR, if the slip is much longer than the skirt, pin it to the bottom of your bra before putting the skirt on.

Now, what if you have a lined skirt but the lining is sticking out?  That's usually a case of poor laundering.  I see it all the time at thrift stores, and I guess someone gave their skirt away because they thought it was ruined.  If the outer layer is natural, like silk or wool, and the inside is synthetic, it's very common for washing to shrink just the outer layer. 

• Nothing for it but to re-hem the lining shorter.  If you can't figure out how to do it, take it to a seamstress. 

YOU CAN'T SIT IN IT
When you try the skirt on at the store, it is snug but cute, so you buy it.  But later when you sit down, it pinches your thighs, makes taut lines over your belly or lap, and rides up.  Fitted skirts will always ride up a little when you sit, but this is too much for comfort.  If this happens too much, you'll start to see pull marks at the side seams.  The problem is that the skirt's too small.  Even a fitted skirt needs extra ease around the hips/bum because those areas expand several inches when you sit.

• Give the skirt away; it's too small for you. 
• Always sit, stand, and move when you try something on!  Try touching your toes or tying your shoes. 
• Ignore the number or size in the label!  No-one sees that label when you wear the skirt, and you'll always look better in something that fits than something too tight. 

YOUR A-LINE IS MORE LIKE AN H
An A-line skirt is smooth at the hips (no gathers) and wide at the hem, and is supposed to stand out from the body just a little, to make the shape of a capital A.  It's a flattering look on most bodies, and makes the waist look smaller.  But what if yours just hangs straight down from the hips, like a capital H instead? 

• Wear a petticoat!  Unlike a slip, which is just one layer of fabric, a petticoat has ruffles of some sort to provide fullness at the bottom.  Some petticoats are huge and fluffy (square dancing costumes, for instance), but others are soft and subtle.  I have a vintage one made of sheer nylon, with a slim-fit at the hips but lots of ruffly stuff at the bottom to make an A-line.  Vintage petticoats are often longer than modern skirts, so you can alter them by moving the waistline or make your own.
  

MANNERS IN A SKIRT

Emily Post once wrote that the essence of good manners is to make others comfortable.  Well, no-one is comfortable if they can see your underwear, so when I say you should sit like a lady, I'm thinking of their comfort, not trying to oppress you!  When your skirt is knee length or shorter, keep your legs together, or crossed at the ankles.  Crossing at the knees is not rude, but it does scrunch up your torso and display your flank in an unflattering way, not to mention possibly causing varicose veins, so I advise against it. 

If you're on a couch and want to tuck your feet up, either do so with your shoes off, or rest your curled legs and ankles on the couch but keep your shod feet hanging off: shoes are dirty and couches should be clean.  Don't put your knees up and let your skirt fall open. 

When getting in and out of cars in a skirt, be aware of how short your skirt is.  If it's knee length or shorter, get in bum first, pulling your legs in after you; get out feet first and together.  Practice this a bit to get graceful at it!  You can even do it with tall trucks: just climb up to where the seat is, then turn and place your bum.  If your skirt is longer, you can safely get in and out head first; just hold the front of your skirt up so you don't step on it. 

After the bathroom, check to make sure your skirt is hanging down all around! 

Finally, in the unlikely event of needing to climb a ladder: send the men up before you and down after you!  Because you're a lady.  If that's not possible (climbing into a lifeboat or out of a crashed plane, maybe?), just be dignified and don't fuss. 

MEN'S SKIRTS

Yes, men do wear skirts.  For instance, a priest's cassock is a dress, so it has a skirt.  A kilt is a skirt, as is a utilikilt.  And if you're into historical reenactments or LARPing, you may wear a long tunic, a toga, or wizard's robes.  You may be Greek and wear fustanella.  Some of the tips above apply to you!  However, there's are a few special considerations for men, especially men in kilts.  (The links below are NSFW, but are very amusing!)

You don't have to worry about the front of your kilt tangling in your legs when you walk... the front is two overlapping "aprons" with no pleats or fullness, and the wool is not prone to static.  However, you should wear a pin on the corner of the outer flap, to weight it against a breeze! 

When you sit with your legs open, make sure your kilt falls in between and touches the seat!  Don't let your kilt lie taut across your knees!  Your sporran will be your friend if you let it! 

Yes, you can wear underwear.  This guy did, and I'm sure was glad of it later!  This guy didn't, and the rest of us are glad.  ;)  But seriously, wool can be scratchy, and you may prefer a soft barrier to butt-itch!  While people joke that a "True Scotsman" goes bare under there, they forget that traditional shirts, called sarks, were pretty long, and therefore acted as underwear and slips.  Modern shirts are shorter, so underwear are a reasonable addition.  If you do Scottish or Irish dancing or play sports in a kilt, you should wear something underneath for everyone's sake!  Pick a dark color that blends with the kilt. 

Gents, don't do this.  (Ladies, don't do this.) 

If you have to climb a ladder, just grin and go for it with brash Scottish aplomb.  Following the ladies' rules about ladders will only make you seem unmanly.